I have come to believe that the nth sequel of Omen is going on in our house just as you are reading this. No, we haven’t adopted the devil’s progeny or anything; this is the Omen with a twist. Tired of being foiled all the time by religious zealots, the devil decided to outsmart them all by sending a dog this time. And by some strange twist of fate, or because of some unthinkable past misdeeds, we were the chosen surrogate parents.
No, I am not over reacting; the sweet puppy we got has turned out to be the devil in disguise. I have thought about it deeply and here’s what I have realised.
Firstly, this pup was rejected by its original owners because they couldn’t cope with it. It was brought to my parents’ home by my brother. All those who know him, know about his rabid interest in morbid things and his propensity for death metal. That should have given me an idea, but I was too preoccupied then to realise it. His move from my parents’ home to our home was at the insistence of K. I have a strong feeling, he has had something to do with this but I still have to confirm this. I mean, why insist so much on flying a four month old pup from Bangalore to Bombay? Anyway, he got his way and now Robin (who should have been named Damien) is here to make my life hell!
Why do I think he’s the Devil’s spawn? Well, for one he doesn’t sleep all night. He sleeps throughout the day (when we aren’t home) and thinks that we are there for his entertainment during the night. And entertainment for him is watching us suffer as he gnaws us to death. He has terribly sharp teeth and I’m pretty sure, he has someone come over to sharpen them when we are away and tries them out on us soon as we get home. Where did that sweet, loving pup go? Or is it all a myth propagated by pet food companies, veterinary doctors and other dog owners?
He demands to be fed all the time, it’s almost like he’s fatting up to take over the world later. Like the kid in the movie, he has the most innocent demeanour. People look at him and fall for those sad, puppy dog eyes. Little do they know what hides behind them! We leave him alone for a few hours so we can go out for dinner, and when we come back the house looks like its been visited by a tornado. Not just any tornado, a vicious tornado that picks out your favourite things and then destroys them one by one. Just when you fall asleep after cleaning up the house, you wake up to the sound of gnawing. In your semi-comatose state, you don’t even realise that it’s your own hand/leg/whichever body part he seems to prefer that night is being chewed up. By the time you realise it, it is too late and some part of your body has been irretrievably chewed up. I have several chunks missing from my body, thankfully it’s not showing. Yet.
His favourite game is something that he has invented. I'm sure he calls it 'go for the jugular'. Yes, he loves to put his paws on my shoulders and bite me on the neck. His big alligator jaws can accomodate my entire neck. I think he could be a vampire dog, if not the devil's offspring.
Some wise dog owner told me that this is all a phase and when he grows up, you’ll miss all his crazy antics. Well, all I can say is if he grows out of thinking that he is the devil’s incarnate, then I will surely be one happier and definitely a more rested person.